Dear Tenants,
I am sorry to inform you that,
after many months of rental non-payment,
I must evict you from the home you made in the kitchen.
I love what you did to the place,
but unfortunately I am having guests over
and their aesthetic sensibilities do not necessarily match yours
and I will have to renovate before they arrive.
You've been excellent tenants
(despite skipping out on the rent)
and I appreciate all the work you've done
keeping the fruit fly population in check.
But now the value of leaving you alone (less fruit flies)
is outweighed by my desire
to not look like a complete slob in front of my friends
and so I must consign your homes to oblivion
and destroy all that you've made
just so I can appear to be within the bounds
of human decency.
Does this make me a monster?
that I'm willing to destroy your entire lives over something so trivial?
If you renters were agents of moral concern then yes
I am a monster
for uprooting your lives
and sentencing some of you to the vacuum
and not caring whether you live or die.
I do not consider myself a cruel man
and try to release those interlopers which find their way into my home
but you are too small to pick up one by one
and my friends will be over soon
And you might bite (which I would not fault you for
merely trying to defend yourself from things outside your control)
But the vacuum (and myself) are large and uncaring.
Some of you may escape and survive
And we do not care
(In fact I am cheering some of you on
as I empty the vacuum bag into the trash
but not caring enough to sift through the dust
as my friends will be over soon)
But you are not agents of moral concern
because me and society had a meeting and agreed
that your lives are not worthy of any inconvenience
Many of us would have evicted you the moment you've arrived
but I let you stay
but being honest that's more of me being too lazy to clean the kitchen
than any motivation driven by kindness.
(also some of you are pretty high up and hard to reach)
When my friends leave you may move back in
(and continue to not pay the rent).
It is impossible to keep you out anyways
and I can't afford to make little habitats
and go out and catch fruit flies to feed
each and every one of you.