Calculating...
of its 8 12 16 19 56 73 111 240 268 day mission.
The batteries last 45 90 days, so it's fine?! (Batteries returned at 92 days)
No they're not stuck, we promise.
- 01.06.2023: Our parachute system doesn't work and the wiring is flammable but it's fine we'll delay launch to replace them
- 16.04.2024: We've stacked our rocket on the launch pad and we're confident it'll go well
- 06.05.2024:
LAUNCH SCRUBBED
- 06.05.2024: A faulty oxygen valve scrubbed the launch but we can replace it so it's fine
- 24.05.2024: There is a helium leak but we can launch anyways. Also we found a reentry design vulnerability but we found a workaround
- 31.05.2024: The ISS urine processor broke, so instead of clothes we packed a replacement pump instead
- 01.06.2024:
LAUNCH SCRUBBED
- 02.06.2024: We replaced the computer's faulty power supply that scrubbed the launch so it's fine, we can launch
- 05.06.2024: LAUNCH
- 05.06.2024: We found two more helium leaks but we can still dock, 22/28 thrusters are enough to maneuver
- 06.06.2024: Five thrusters stopped working while docking but it's fine we turned them off and on until four of them worked again
- 06.06.2024: We found another helium leak but we're already docked it's fine
- 08.06.2024: We fixed the urine processor, Mission Accomplished
- 10.06.2024: We found a fifth helium leak and a thruster valve isn't closing but we're already docked it's fine
- 14.06.2024: Departure delayed from the 18th to the 22nd for checks but we can still leave in an emergency so we're not stuck
- 15.06.2024: One of the thrusters is completely broken so we're not using it anymore but it's fine
- 18.06.2024: Departure delayed to the 25th but we can still use it in emergencies so it's fine
- 21.06.2024: Departure delayed to July and we don't know precisely when but they'll tell us when they know so it's fine
- 22.06.2024: Our batteries last 45 days so it's fine
- 25.07.2024: They changed the rules so now our batteries last 90 days and also if this doesn't work there's nonemergency contingency plans to get back home it's fine
- 27.07.2024: The Crew-9 Dragon is coming up on the 18th so we're definitely going to leave before then it's fine
- 29.07.2024: We tested the water and pressure and they're fine
- 30.07.2024: We've tested our thrusters and they're still good to go home not only in an emergency so it's fine
- 06.08.2024: They delayed the Crew-9 Dragon launch until September 24th so it's fine we're definitely going to leave before then
- 07.08.2024: They made contingency plans to send us back in February on a Crew-9 but Starliner needs a few weeks of software updates to fly autonomously so it's fine.
- 24.08.2024: They've announced that Starliner to fly back by itself without us in early September but we'll stay until February. This is fine.
- 29.08.2024: Starliner will leave without us on by September 6. No we're not stranded. This will be fine.
- 30.08.2024: Crew-9 is losing 2 crew so that it will bring us back by February so we're not stranded. Also the Dragon was installed with two makeshift seats without a spacesuit as a lifeboat so it's fine.
- 03.09.2024: Starliner is making weird noises from the speakers but it's probably a slight grounding issue it's fine.
- 06.09.2024: Starliner has landed successfully by itself. The additional thruster failure and navigation glitches didn't stop it. It's fine. Mission Accomplished
- 17.12.2024: Our return to Earth has been delayed from February to March. This is fine.